Part 2: Burnout vs. Breakdown — Recognizing the Warning Signs
What to Do When Your Coping Skills Stop Working: A Guide for Burnout and Beyond
So you’ve realized your usual tools aren’t cutting it anymore. That “off” feeling isn’t going away. The exhaustion is deep, maybe even bone-deep. You’re irritable, detached, or numb—and no matter how much sleep, tea, or self-care you throw at it, the needle doesn’t move.
The question becomes:
What’s going on with me?
Is it burnout? Is it a breakdown? Is it something more profound, like grief, trauma, or shutdown?
Knowing the difference isn’t about labeling yourself. It’s about finding the right door forward.
What Is Burnout (Really)?
Burnout isn’t just stress. It’s what happens when your internal resources are depleted faster than they can be restored. It’s common in helpers, parents, educators, caretakers, and neurodivergent folks who are masking or pushing too hard to meet external demands.
Key signs of burnout:
Emotional and physical exhaustion
Cynicism, irritability, or emotional blunting
Reduced sense of accomplishment
Feeling disconnected from joy or meaning
Difficulty concentrating
Burnout sounds like:
“I’m doing everything I can, and nothing is helping.”
“I used to care, but now I feel numb.”
“I want to disappear, not die—just disappear.”
What Is a Breakdown?
Breakdown isn’t a formal diagnosis, but it describes a moment when everything collapses. It can be the result of untreated burnout, complex trauma, grief, or neurochemical dysregulation. The nervous system hits capacity and can no longer maintain the mask.
Key signs of breakdown:
Sudden or extreme withdrawal
Panic attacks or dissociation
Suicidal ideation (with or without plan/intent)
Inability to perform basic tasks
Identity confusion or emotional collapse
Breakdown sounds like:
“I can’t do this anymore.”
“I don’t recognize myself.”
“Everything feels too much—even brushing my teeth.”
What About Shutdown or Freeze Response?
Especially common in trauma survivors and neurodivergent individuals, shutdown looks quieter, but is just as intense.
Shutdown may include:
Flat affect or emotional numbness
Reduced speech or blankness
Body heaviness or fatigue
Disconnection from time or space
Avoidance of all demands, including pleasurable ones
Freeze/shutdown sounds like:
“I don’t feel anything.”
“I just want to lie in bed and not be touched.”
“I know I should eat, but I can’t make myself get up.”
Why This Matters
Misreading a shutdown as laziness, or calling a breakdown “just burnout,” can delay the care you need. Burnout can be addressed through rest and setting boundaries. Breakdown might require professional support or medication. A shutdown may require trauma-informed safety and co-regulation.
It’s not about ranking suffering—it’s about knowing what kind of care matches your nervous system’s cry for help.
What Helps in Each State:
Burnout:
Scale way back. Cut optional tasks.
Prioritize rest that feels restorative, not performative.
Name it without shame: “I’m burned out. My system is overwhelmed.”
Breakdown:
Seek support—this is not the time to go it alone.
Let others help you with food, childcare, or medical appointments.
Do not minimize your distress. This is real, and it’s okay to need help.
Shutdown/Freeze:
Use body cues: warmth, texture, and movement.
Let someone sit quietly with you, without judgment.
Try a tiny step—sensation first, not solutions.
A Note from Me
I’ve watched clients and friends mislabel their burnout as “failure,” their shutdown as “laziness,” and their breakdowns as “weakness.” I’ve done it myself. But your system isn’t betraying you—it’s telling the truth in the only language it has left.
You’re not broken. You need care. And care is not earned—it’s your right.
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Reflection Prompts: “Where Am I in This?”
1. When did I last feel like myself—and what has changed since then?
(Try to name specific shifts: in energy, responsibilities, emotions, or relationships.)
2. What am I feeling most often right now—numbness, overwhelm, sadness, exhaustion, hopelessness?
(Circle or name a few. You don’t need to explain why—just notice.)
3. What tasks feel impossible right now—even small ones?
(Getting dressed? Making food? Answering a message? That’s information.)
4. Am I over-functioning (doing too much) or under-functioning (shutting down)? Or am I swinging between both?
5. What’s the voice in my head saying to me lately?
(Is it kind? Harsh? Desperate? Hopeless? Curious?)
Action Items: Small Ways to Respond with Care
If You Think You’re in Burnout:
Cancel something optional this week without guilt
Choose a 10-minute practice that requires nothing of you: lying in the sun, petting your dog, staring at the wall
Say (aloud or to yourself): “This is more than stress. I need rest, not just resilience.”
If You Think You’re in a Breakdown:
Tell someone you trust: “I’m not okay, and I don’t know what to do.”
Identify one basic task and ask for help doing it (e.g., laundry, food, a phone call)
Call a therapist or crisis line if you feel unsafe with yourself
If You Think You’re in Shutdown/Freeze:
Wrap yourself in something warm; hold a textured object
Put your feet on the floor and notice the sensation for one full minute
Whisper to yourself: “I don’t have to do anything right now. Just be here.”
One Simple Journal Prompt to Return To:
“What does my body need from me today—and can I offer even a fraction of that?”
And if you need additional support, reach out to a mental health professional who can meet you where you are and guide you through the journey. You can reach out to me here.
Visit Artist Eye Apothecary’s Affiliate Store for tools to help you self-soothe and de-stress.